Sunday, January 31, 2010

:: takotkah anda? ::





psst....








weyh....






korg....






nk tnye ni...






korg penah xrase........



takot?




yes!

TAKOT



itulah topik kte mlm ini yer..
(sbnrnye xtaw nk letak topik pe..)

hurm,..
penah x korg ade perasaan takot..
takot mmg ade byk jenis..
takot hantu la
takot lipas la
(mcm adik aku...die mmg penakot lipas num 1 di asia! n penjerit num 1 di dlm umah!)
takot tggi la
takot blood la
(mcm bf aku..haha..takot darah gler)
takot jarum la
takot...
mcm2 la..
tp kan..
ape yg aku nk ctekan di sini
bukan berkaitan dgn mana2 di atas
ia berkaitan ngn


TAKOT APABILA DILEPASKAN BERSENDIRIAN

paham x?
meh aku nk terangkan..

takot yg dimaksudkan adalah.
takot ble keseorangan..
tp bukan keseorangan dlm blik ke ape..
tp apabila keseorangan tanpa ade org bersama kita utk menjaga kita..

ok..meh nk bg situasi la

contohnya..
dulu2..
aku sllu ada perasaan ni bila pg2 nk g sekolah..
ikut la sekolah rendah ka menengah ka..even mase nk masuk maktab pon..
aku still ada perasaan ni..
perasaan ni xleyh nk describe..
contoh dulu..masa aku darjah 5..
kekadang ayah aku antar g skolah..
pastu ble smpai kt gate skolah..aku mmg rasa takot nk g sekolah..
aku rasa takot bila ayah aku tggalkan aku sorg2 kt skolah..
aku takot sbb xdk org nk jaga aku..
huu..
nk nangeh ja sllu rasa..

mcm la time aku nk masuk IPBA
cmtu gk..
mak ayah aku mai hantaq
(tu dia.masuk kedah..selesa sket ckp gini)
mak ayah aku mai hantaq smpai ke kl..
pastu bila masa parents aku nk blik..
aku jd ketaq lutut..
takut..
sjuk tgn..
nk nangeh..
(aku nangeh gk kot last2)
aku jd cm scared of being left alone without them close to me..
huhu..
tp pastu aku ok ja..

so..
the point here is..
aku skang ngah ada perasaan tu..
huhu..
aku rasa takot tetiba dok kt uk ni..
tnpa mereka2 seperti family aku...
n bf aku..
huhu..

aku bru pas ckp ngn bf aku..
n
skang aku ada perasaan takut ni..
sllu ja cmni..
masa nk hang up ja aku dh ketaq lutut..
dh takut..
sbb dia xdak dh dkat ngn aku
mmg ar dia berbillion batu away..
tp bile ckp..i feel close to him..
n bila nk hang up....rasa jauh..
n..
huu...
takot....~
plus..
i miss him..
huu..



so..
begitulah..
nk ilangkan perasaan ni..
its either i called him back..
or i listen to my favourite songs,,
usually songs loong ago..
like spice girls..
bsb..
nsync..
songs that make me feel like home..

awww....


or just try n do things that will distract my mind..
like..
g sembang ngn member smpai xingt dunia..
xpon mkn...
hee..
xpon wat hw..
like wut i'll be doing now..
huhu..


so..
tu je..
chow~


click! aku juga sllu takot kalo aku terbgn mlm2 n tgk kt tgkap cm ada menda pelik...perkara yg akan aku lakukan......tutup muka ngn bantal then baca ayat qursi...xpon..... ntah..tidoq ar kot..

:: feelings ::



feelings..

what is feelings?

"perasaan"

oh..ok..

hurm..
everyone has got their own feelings and emotions..
we cannot run away from it..
it is part of us..
whether we like it or not..

sumtimes..
we can control our feelings..
but a lot of times
its uncontrollable..

sometimes its going up..
sometimes...down..

but seriously..
the feelings that i'm having
can sometime kill me!
yeah..
kill me into bits of pieces!

ok..
i'm not being emo right now..
cz u all know if once i started to become emo
life would not be the same..
i warn u..

so anyway..
these couple of days..
i'm having this sort of mixed feelings..
that i myself could not describe what it is...

at times i feel so noble..
at times i feel so happy
at times i feel so good
at times i feel like heaven
at times i feel like everything is so nice and good


but..


at times i feel like i'm useless
at times i feel like i wanna cry
sometimes i feel like nothing in this world looks good
sometimes i feel like i'd rather just end it here
sometimes i feel like i dont deserve to live
sometimes i feel like i'm the worse person ever lived..
n i dont deserve to be around with people like you



somehow..
these feelings are eating me slowly..
i'm scared if in the end..
it just happens to destroy me..
i tried to calm myself..
to think rationally..
i turn to Quran
i prayed
i recite the doa

but..

it went on pretty well for a while

then..

my feelings came back again..
n became worse than before..

i dont want to lose the people around me with my actions..
but..
i DUNNO!!
i dunno what is happening to me!!
I may look ok on the outside..
but i might be different on the inside..



GOD help me....

Thursday, January 28, 2010

:: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA! ::


29 JANUARY 2010

MAMA

TURNED 49

happy birthday mama!!

LOVE YOU!!

sorry xde entry special pasal mama for the time being..

cz pening pale skang..
(kesakitan mata memberi effect kepada kepala...huu..)

tp

nk wat gk post..

so..

i would like to post this song...

especially for you mama!







MAMA
(spice girls)



She used to be my only enemy and never let me be free

Catching me in places that I knew I should'nt be

Every other day I crossed the line I didn't mean to be so bad

I never thought you would become the friend I never had

Back then I didn't know why

Why you were misunderstood

So now I see through your eyes

All that you did was love

Mama I love you.Mama I care

Mama I love you . Mama my friend. You're my friend

I didn't want to hear it then but I'm not ashamed to say it now

Every little thing you said and did was right for me

I had a lot of to think about,about the way I used to be

Never had a sense of my responsibility

Back then I didn't know why

Why you were misunderstood

So now I see through your eyes, all that you did was love

Mama, I love you. Mama, I care

Mama, I love you. Mama ,my friend. You're my friend

But now I'm sure I know why,

Why you were misunderstood

So now I see through your eyes

All I can give you is love is love

Mama I love you. Mama, I care

Mama, I love you. Mama, my friend,You're my friend

Mama, I love you, Mama ,I care

Mama, I love you, Mama, my friend, You're my friend

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

:: kata kata ::




pada suatu hari......






saya : hye..


dia : hye..


saya : wtpe tu?


dia : xde wat pape...awak?


saya : saya pon xde wat pape...boring ar.. awak xboring?


dia : saya? saya pon boring gk...huhu...


saya : same2 la kte boring eyh...


dia : haah..nampaknya begitulah..


saya : ade pape menarik x ari ni?


dia : ntah...awak?


saya : ntah... xde pape..


dia : hurm.....nape awak tegur saye mule2 td?


saya : ntah.... sbb saya rase cm nk tegur..


dia : oh...


saya : hmm... awak rase saye ni useless x?


dia : dari ape yg saya perhatikan...maybe..


saya : oh.


dia : tp saya tahu mcm mane nk bg awak x useless,..


saya : cmne? (excited)


dia : tu ha...


saya : ape?


dia : nampak tak mnde tu?


saya : mende?












dia : ASSIGNMENTS....




saya : (-_-")



-tamat-

(TAHNIAH! anda berjaya membaca entry ini smpai habis! mmg amat berbaloi anda membacanya! )





click! : rase2 korg nk lempang aku x pas abeh bace entry ni? tp sblm tu..aku nk gelak puas dulu ar.....hahaha....~


Monday, January 25, 2010

:: hidung oh hidung ::



topik ari ini..



hidung tersumbat



(Semasa aku menulis blog ini..
idung aku ngah tersumbat)

hye kawan2..
penah x kawan2 sume mengalami idung tersumbat?



penah?


teruk kan?


yeah?


mesti rase nk cabut je idung ni gosok2 ngn berus..

kan?


mesti rase lega kn?


haa...

beginilah perasaan ku skang..




sakit kot idung aku skang ni..
adoi..
nk bernafas pon kot mulut..
nasib la ade lubang laen leyh bernafas..
dok pkir gk..
leyh ke kte bernafas kot lubang laen?

lubang telinga?

or.

lubang yg kt bwh tu?



ntahla..xpenah eksperimen..amik pon tesl..mane de nk wat eksperimen..
korg2 yang amik medic try ar..
mane taw ade perjumpaan terbaru ke..
nnt jgn lupe boh nama aku kt dlm thesis korg taw..

nway...
dgn idung yg berlemoih ni..
(taw x berlemoih tu apa? ampa ni....bahasa kedah pon xtaw ka? berlemoih tu sejenis kapal terbang private m16 us tuh..
or in other words.. cm melekit2 n xsenang nmpak ar)
phm?
euww...~ geli ar plak bila pikir..

anyway..
dlm keadaan yang amat xselesa ni..
aku pon type2 la kt web ni..
(internet amat useful skang..suma pon ada taw)
aku type

"hidung tersumbat"

pastu kuar la berbagai2 web ttg perkara tersebut..
maka aku terbuka la satu web ni..

"Petua Elak Hidung Tersumbat"

jd..ape yg menarik kt web ni..
die bg petua..
(obviously)
so apakah petua2 yg die bg?



Ambil halia dan hiriskan (atau nak lebih bagus, sagat halia tu bagi hancur)
>halia?? adoi...aku xgemar ar halia.. n plus..halia kt uk ni mahal kot..nk plak aku hiris2 utk idung aku..dlm masakan pon aku jarang letak...<

Masukkan halia yang sudah dihiris atau disagat tu dalam segelas air panas (air jangan banyak sangat)
>sagat?? ape tuh? oh..hiris..<<

Ambil tuala kecil/sapu tangan dan rendamkan dalam air halia tadi (biarkan sehingga kira2 5 minit)


Perahkan tuala kecil/sapu tangan tu sikit (jangan perah sampai kering pulak)
>ni pon nk bgtaw...leyh pkir sndiri kot..haha<

Tekapkan pada bahagian permukaan lubang hidung dan sekitar mulut
>ergh...seriously??? <

Tekapkan dan dalam masa yang sama, tarik nafas panjang2 ikut hidung
>ok...yuckss...<



so kesimpulannya....

aku xikut pon..
haha..
(cz xde halia)
n aku just telan 2 biji ubat selsema..
n..
tidoq!

sok bgn...






idung still tersumbat...


adoi..








Sunday, January 24, 2010

:: fakta2 pelik tp benar ::





aku ngah boring siot..
2,3 ari ni otak aku cm padang pasir sahara je
(...ape tu miera? ceyh...tnye cm wat2 cute gituu..)


ala..maksud die kosong ar...
woossshhh~~~
(sound effect angin blowing kt padang pasir)
so aku cm xtaw nk update ape seyh..
si anonymous dok asyik tnye mane la entry bru aku..
sory ar.gua xde idea...

so..
akibat keboringan..
gua pon buka2 ar web2..
(ceyh..poyos ber"gua2" plak dh miera ni)
bace2..
tgk2..
(nway.. The Arrivals dh abeh tgk dh! excited sebentar di situ ye kwn2..)

hmm...
(...........)
lupe lak ckp sal ape...
oh..
ok then..
pas tgk2 web2 sume..
i came across interesting facts ttg

FACEBOOK



ala..mmg belambak cm bubur lambak pon kt tenet tu sal facebook..
ye la..
dh become a phenomenon dh skang kot..
sume org..including mak jah jual nasi depan ipba pon taw facebook tu ape..
tp kne ckp pesbuk ar..
bru dorg paham..
(bluffing siot aku ni! haha.. siot aku gune pkataan bluffing! )

so anyway..
meh gua nk share sket ape2 yg menarik tertarik kau mmg de bom punye facts yg gua rase baek punye ar..



ru ready?




sure?




here it is!

(hegeh! sape2 meh tampar miera ni meh..)


  1. Lebeyh dr 60% lelaki n pompuan gune pesbuk ni sbgai tmpat dorg nk stalk pakwe2 makwe2 dorg yang lepas (ex la..skema ngak aih).. ye ar..melalui pesbuk..anda xkan kantoi...bukan cm friendster..ade yang who viewed you.. tp ini bergantung kepada kadar privacy pesbuk anda ar..kalo dh boh bg suma leyh tgk hang punya info n pic..mmg snang ar org nk stalk hang...so gitu la cte nye..
  2. next! kalo hampa2 suma nk taw la..most of org yang amik gmbar..dlm pala otak depa..nk upload dlm pesbuk...xcaya..tnya ar diri sendiri...! masa ampa2 suma amik pic..mesti dlm fikiran dok kata.. " gua nk upload dlm pesbuk ar..bg kwn2 pesbuk aku jeles tgk aku g bathe la stonehenge la..haha...xpon bg ex pakwe aku tgk betapa ruginya die clash ngn aku..aku dh lawa tahap bapok dh skang! haa.." (kata2 tersebut tidak ada kaitan dgn yg hidup atau mati yer..) ni nk tnya..sapa taw bpa byk gmbar yg diupload ke dlm facebook stiap bulan? .............. 1 bilion beb! maksudnye.. 333,333,333 gmbar setiap ari..(gile pndai aku berkire2..add m3 A2 nih! ) no wonder la pesbuk sllu je stuck....adoiyai...so jgn curse pesbuk sesuka hati yer kwn2..itu adalah sbb anda! hee..~
  3. Seterusnya! pengguna2 pesbuk yg aktif meningkat scr drastic dlm 5 tahun..! gler ar.. meh nk bg statistic sket.. (ngan memakai spek mata 15 inci dan membuat muka cm professor)
  • Dec 2004 ade 1 million users
  • 2005 naik 5.5 million
  • 2006 naik 12 million
  • 2007 naik 70 million!
  • 2008 ade 100 million!
  • july 2009 ade 270 million
  • skang ade lebeyh 350 million!
  • gler..mesia pon ada 26 million lebeyh org...
  • gler naik 250% selama 5 tahun! ckgu aku pon ajaq ada smpai 100% ja..

4. bpa kali korg sume update status kt pesbuk?? haa....tnye la diri sendiri..sbb mengikut statistic.. 30 million users update their status at least once a day.. gler ar pesbuk...tabik ar ke mung..

5. adakah anda budak kolej? kerana anda tergolong dlm 85% budak2 kolej yg ade pesbuk..and 70% drpnya log in ke pesbuk everyday..gilo..korg ni study ke berpesbuk? (ceyh...kata kt org...hello miera..look in the mirror beb! -- lawa gk aku bila tgk kt mirror..maseh~ blueekk)

6. Psychologists habaq mai..gtaw yg ade satu addiction baru dorg jumpak..iaitu FAD (Facebook Addiction Disorder) haha..padan muke korg!! (n me....huu)

7. nk taw x..Syria telah ban pesbuk...huu..sian org syria xleyh gune pesbuk..ni sume sbb gara2 dorg kate pesbuk ni tmpat org ajar sal false religions and wars..huh..ye ke? xtaw la den..


jd..
the moral of the story is..

"laen kali korg amik gmbar..jgn ar pkir nk upload kt pesbuk jer...haha"

jd tu je la utk skang..

i need to continue my readings on Understanding Learners and Learning
(ceyh..subject bunyik cm nk gempak jer)
hey..
i'm a student ok~ ingt i ni dihantar jauh2 ke sini utk tulis blog je ke?
so..
catch up later..
until next time..

xoxoxo

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

~ 20 + 1 = ??? ~






hari ini..



20 january 2010



saya..




walaweyh!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

:: surat cinta ::


Dear MJ,

kehadapan MJ yang mysterious,

mu ghoyak ko ambo kah mano mung duduk bena nyo..

ambo doh letih doh nok pening cayo hok mano betol..

dop tahu oghe kecek beto ke dop mung idup agi..

banyok sangat doh oghe wak video2 pasa mung idup
agi..

mung tahu sapo hok letih?

ambo la! dok baco pasa mung ber je je dop abih2..

kan sng kalo mung muncul jo depe oghe..

weyh la ho....

Until next time,

-blackred-

:: mama said ::






MAMA kata:

" kak ya dah nak masuk 21 tahun dah... dah nk tua dah.."


" Kak ita (my sister in law), kawen umor 22(tahun lepas)..skang dh nk dapat anak dh.."


" Mama dulu umur 22 dh mengandung ke abg long.."


" Kak ya dah dewasa dh sekarang.."


" Kak ya dah nak umur 21 tahun dalam 3 ari lg.."



SAYA kata:

" Apa maksud mama semua ni?"



MAMA kata:

" **gelak** "



-end-

:: sesungguhnya ::


Sesungguhnya
Album : Puji-Pujian
Munsyid : Raihan
http://liriknasyid.com



Sebenarnya hati ini cinta kepada-Mu
Sebenarnya diri ini rindu kepada-Mu

Tapi aku tidak mengerti
Mengapa cinta masih tak hadir
Tapi aku tidak mengerti
Mengapa rindu belum berbunga

Sesungguhnya walau kukutip
Semua permata di dasar lautan
Sesungguhnya walau kusiram
Dengan air hujan dari tujuh langitpun
Namun cinta takkan hadir
Namun rindu tak akan berbunga

Kucoba menhulurkan sebuah hadiah kepada-Mu
Tapi mungkin isinya tidak sempurna tiada seri
Kucuba menyiramnya agar tumbuh berbunga
Tapi mungkin kerana airnya tidak sesegar telaga kautsar

Sesungguhnya walau kukutip
Semua permata di dasar lautan
Sesungguhnya walau kusiram
Dengan air hujan dari tujuh langitpun
Namun cinta takkan hadir
Namun rindu tak akan berbunga
Jika tidak mengharap rahmad-MU
Jika tidak menagih simpati
Pada Mu Ya Allah

Tuhan hadiahkanlah kasih-Mu kepadaku
Tuhan kurniakanlah rinduku kepada-Mu
Moga ku tahu syukurku adalah milik-Mu
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